[opening theme music]
Will somebody please cue that bird?
♪ Samurai pizza cats Oooh yeah!♪
♪ Who do you call when you want Some pepperoni?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza cats♪
♪ They're stepping out crime♪
♪ And you know That ain't baloney♪
♪ There's Speedy Cerviche, He's the leader of the bunch♪
♪ A heck of a fighter Makes a heck of a lunch♪
♪ And little Polly Esther Who's never afraid♪
♪ Of going into battle When the bad guys invade♪
♪ Here's Guido Anchovis, A wild romantic rover♪
♪ This cat gets down, down With a love hangover♪
♪ Here come the Pizza Cats They're so bad♪
♪ They've got more fur than any Turtle ever had!♪
♪ They're stronger Than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than dirt♪
Stronger than dirt.
♪ Step on their tails♪
Get off of my tail!
♪ And you're gonna get hurt♪
Don't hurt me!
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime All over town!♪
♪ Three, two, one, Pizza Cats are on the run!♪
♪ The Big Cheese is the villain, Who's lower than low♪
♪ It's a rotten shame He lives in Little Tokyo♪
♪ We've got a nasty Bad Bird And some nasty Ninja Crowes♪
♪ As soon as someone Finds the script♪
♪ We might begin the show♪
♪ Sit right back, Pick up your feet♪
♪ And turn the sound up high♪
♪ And if you want the full effect go eat a pizza pie!♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
I won't do it!
I want to be the star!
I'm sick of doing all these lousy guest shots!
Now, now, princess.
I suppose this is the place in the show where you have
to have your little fit.
Oh, I see you're going to smash my face with the table now.
I should be the smash hit of my own cartoon show.
Look at them all, Little Tokyo's biggest stars,
and all inside my binoculars.
Ruby and Buck Rogers,
Robin and Sean Penn.
Hey, who's clouding up my view? It's her!
Hey, Speedy, could you hurry it up there?
I can't wait to get all those packages home.
I got one for me, and one for me,
and another for me, and there's one for me.
Oh, I can't to see what I bought myself.
-Speedy. -I'll get you my pretty Lucille
and your little Samurai Pizza cat boyfriend too!
Oh, Speedy, did you have a nice trip?
[laughs] Awesome.
Totally awesome, my dear.
-Whoa! -Speedy, what's wrong?
I want to have a cartoon series, I want to buy myself presents.
I want to be a geisha bride, I want to have boyfriend.
I want it all!
What good is all this glorious beauty and talent
if I don't have anyone to share it with?
Why didn't I give her decaf with her toast this morning?
-What was that? -What? I didn't say anything.
Sure, but because it's a cartoon I can hear all your thoughts.
That's impossible!
Take her to Extra's island!
No, anything but that! It's not in my contract!
[sighs]
I wonder if Madonna ever has days like this.
[Guido] One pastrami pie to go.
Ow!
So what have you been up to in the park today, Speedy?
-Tell us. -It was my old friend, trouble.
So you saw Lucille today, huh?
Well, I might have broken her heart.
That is if it was in one
of the boxes I was carrying home for her.
Well, now I have heard a cat box of excuses from you, Speedy.
And I'm going to tell you exactly what I think of all
you're miss-deliveries!
Francine? Oh, you're mouth looks pretty and pert.
[chuckles]
-Huh? -[chatter]
Wow, it's Fernando Curtainzuela from the Gray Sox.
[narrator] Speedy was right. It was Fernando Certainzuela.
The greatest baseball player in cartoons.
He could throw straighter, hit further, run faster.
Heck, Fernando can do it all.
Besides, he takes a darn good close up.
Lucille's been going crackers over this puppy.
Bow-wow-wow, I'm going to get her an autograph.
Oh, I'm just green with excitement.
That's envy.
[both] Oh, Fernando!
[narrator] Meanwhile, Big Al meets with the pretty average
Emperor Fred.
Your shin bones are connected to your ankle bone
by the fuller plexus.
Fred, Fred.
Little Jack Horner sat in the corner eating
his extra-large pizza pie.
Freddio!
And the last little piggy went wee-wee-wee
all the way home.
Fred!
The princess will be so pleased.
Du-wa!
What? Say it again, Al.
You've got your own show, doll.
Oh, yes. My greatest dream has finally come true.
It's like I'm in the Wizard of Oz.
Now, we'll have to find you a suitable leading man.
Someone who can carry your bags and keep those temper
tantrums secret.
I want Fernando Certainzuela to be my leading man.
But, but, but...
I want Fernando Certainzuela to costar.
What if Fernando's not interested?
Then I'll have to charm him!
I think we should hold some auditions for the honor.
Alright, I want to have my carrot and eat it too.
There's a lot to be done. I better hop to it.
[chuckles]
First, we'll have sent her the leading man of her dreams,
then the imp will love us forever,
and we can take over Little Tokyo for our own!
Now that's solved, let's do a little dance number.
-And a one-- -And a two.
I'm right there beside you cheesy boy!
[both] And a three and a four.
♪ I'm just a little cheesy♪
♪ I'm just a little old♪
♪ But out evil is fresh And nasty♪
George Burns, look out.
You should volunteer down at the laboratories
more often, Cheesy.
Build up that little tail of yours.
What I need now is my head to think up this scheme.
Not to mention a little help from our friends down
at the robot department.
Let in the secret weapon.
[laughing]
[narrator] Evil Springy.
With the exuberance of Peewee Herman,
he's rust proof, bounces back from his troubles,
and is going to attach his evil self on the great Fernando
so that he can control him.
Talk about throwing a curve!
[fireworks]
As our story uncoils,
it takes us to Emperor Fred's place.
So according to Emperor Fred, Princess Violet has a deal
to star with somebody and we've got to audition talent.
Like we don't have anything more interested to do. Got it?
Let the games begin!
Alright, contestant number one.
Hi, my name is Burt Kennels, and I'm from nowhere
in particular.
I enjoy no special hobbies or games.
Ooh, how fascinating.
And what is your talent?
I eat to squelch my hunger,
and also in the name of peace.
[both] What?
[eating ferociously]
This guy really throw his chow around.
Send him to Extra's Island!
He didn't even offer us one bowl.
I'm still trying to wipe his memory off my cheek.
Okay, bring in the next guy.
Hey, babe. How are you and the obnoxious little starlet doing?
Great opening line, dude.
[chuckles]
Well, it gets better, man.
You see, I count how many times the princess has her fits,
and then we have a little fun.
One million one, one million two--
Get him out!
One million twenty, one million twenty three.
[laughs]
We just knew that little act would amuse you.
Now, we'll bring in the really good stuff,
bring on the stars.
Say, is this where I read for the "Wonder Ears?"
My, oh, my, I thought I'd seen it all.
Send him away.
Hey, aren't you Fred Savage?
[narrator] Meanwhile, all over Little Tokyo
news is spreading fast of the disappearance
of Fernando Certainzuela.
Hey, there's nothing in here about us.
Fernando.
Hey, Speedy, say something so Lucille doesn't blow up.
Okay. Hey, I got it.
I was going to show it to you before. It's an autograph I got.
You like it, Lucille?
How could you? It's Ferny!
-Fernando! -Nice work.
[explosion]
Send him to the island.
I've received messages that you're overcrowding the island.
Oh, those people have been in more discotechs
more crowded than that.
Yes, but there is cocktail cherries and pretzels.
[chatter]
No more!
But they say they have a very special presentation for--
Oh, Ricky!
[both] Huh?
[narrator] But before they can figure out what the heck
the princess has just said.
You're about to meet my fabulous son.
You have a son?
There isn't a little Cheese.
Well, I just adopted him. You'll love him,
he's just your match.
He's tall, and strong, and brave.
If your son's so brave, why isn't he here?
[laughs]
Why of course he's here. He just wanted me to introduce him.
Alright, junior. It's showtime.
[gasps]
-It's him! -Radical.
[narrator] And the winner is: the missing Certainzuela.
-Huh? -Ah!
Junior has so many talents.
It's hard to know where to begin.
Give them a shot.
[narrator] And what a shot it was!
You might say Fernando is in the evil springing
of his career.
One second!
Less than that to steal my heart.
Be very careful, princess.
Are you trying to squash all Vi's hopes and dreams
to little tallets, Big Al?
You wouldn't want to do that now, would you?
-Of course not, your ratness. -Good.
[laughs]
[narrator] But Al new there was nothing good about it.
His days in little league told not to trust a baseball cap
that winked at you.
Alright, if the Big Cheese wants to play catch,
we're going to give him a good game.
Play ball!
[Francine] Okay, everybody, it's flying time again.
The Cheese is wreaking havoc and we cannot let him win.
So pick up your order and head for the border.
I'm not sure where I'm going, so stand back Pizza Cat fans.
Blast off.
[blast]
[narrator] And the Pizza Cats are well on their way
to somewhere.
Hurry, Mother. They were right there.
[narrator] But the Pizza Cats were long gone.
And Mother thought how glad she was not to have left her
rice behind.
Now, now, don't breath too heavy on Ferny, my dear.
[growling]
Huh?
Did somebody order pizza?
[narrator] No, not a pizza, Big Cheese.
What Big Al ordered was a pizza cat
compete with Anchovis.
We always come hot and right on time.
A little tomato.
There's a little bit extra in all our orders,
because our hears are in our jobs, folks.
And seasoning.
Did you say bad guys are at your door?
We'll come to your rescue right from the store.
Put these ingredients all together and what do they spell?
[all] Samurai Pizza Cats!
Let's break up this little party.
Why don't you come join us in the fun,
you little pumpkin, you.
Little pumpkin?
Of course you're here to audition for my show.
I might've known.
Gee, you think I'd be any good at it?
But I have my own cartoon!
Get him out of here!
Let's play ball, come on!
[narrator] So somewhere where it all went down,
it was decided something would be decided over a baseball game.
But I haven't decided what.
Get your junk food while it's cold.
This is Vince coming to you from Chopsticks stadium.
Here with me, the great Burnt Cheese burger.
Good to have you aboard, Burnt.
I think I look okay for being up all night.
I need a day off.
Come on, Fernando. Go!
I sure wish she'd shut up.
Yeah, it's me thinking under this had, Bad Bird.
I want a sunflower seed.
[squawking]
Oh, fly south.
Alright, quiet on the set. Play ball!
[narrator] Everyone in Little Tokyo was all fired
up for the big championship.
Of course, some are more fired up than others.
Fernando was so excited, he barbecued his eyebrows.
-Come on. -Keep the faith, man!
Smack the thing!
[Jerry] And the pitch!
Strike one!
Strike two!
Strike three! Have a nice day.
[narrator] And the great game was played by great players.
Both the bad guy players and the good guy players
playing with great effort, which all amounted to a grand
score of zero, zero.
Fernando was up to bat.
I love how I look while watching baseball.
This is the final hour fans. My tush is asleep in this chair.
So Burnt--
Bad guys, bad guys, rawr, rawr, rawr. Go bad!
No, he's done good.
Hey there, baddie, you're mama's a dog.
Take this!
[laughs]
Did you see that Big Cheese out there?
I thought that was the funniest thing I--
That had to be one of the saddest things I've ever seen.
[narrator] Not so sad was Polly's discovery that Fernando
was no Albert Einstein.
Hey! It's a fly ball and it's coming at me!
[narrator] And Polly, although simply excited was certainly
on the ball. Only she "under" the ball.
Oh, I tripped on my own clumsy cat paws.
Hey, say something, missy.
Okay.
You're out. You're out, loser!
[Jerry] And the fans are going crazy,
although there is no reason for it.
No one has scored or done anything even remotely
heroic yet.
And Speedy Cerviche is up to bat.
Come on, Fernando! Make it go!
I'd like to own my own home someday. Play ball!
[giggles]
Chihuahua!
[explosion]
Whoa, boy. Strike one!
[yells]
I call that one the toaster.
[giggles]
[Jerry] This game is taking as long as a take-out order
at Pizza Cats.
[laughs]
I think my cheerleading gave the King more heart,
and made the game go faster.
-Hey, Princess Vi-- -Wha--
Oh, I'm, uh--
[gulps] [giggles]
-Did I miss a touchdown? -Not exactly.
[laughs]
Not exactly.
Tell them to sketch that girl's lips shut.
You got a zit!
Alright, well, you can't burn it down now.
Stop, you're scaring me, pussy cat.
[Violet] Snack boy. Hey, snack boy!
-Yoo-hoo, I'm over here. -My feet are killing me.
Alright, what'll it be?
I'll have wraps, and squirts, and buttons, and twists, and--
[whistles]
[narrator] Like moths to a flame, like bees to honey,
like Clark Kent to a phone booth,
Princess Vi was drawn to Bad Bird.
What? What?
How are ya?
[Jerry] Here's the windup and the pitch!
It's a hot one.
Ye-hee!
Yee-haw! Look at that hit!
That ball's swinging like it's flying pizza dough!
-What the-- -There's two pieces
falling into the stadium!
What do you make of this phenomenon?
You want my opinion?
You should tone down those eyebrows.
Alright, let's go to the score board.
And the judges have decided that score,
and the Pizza cats have won the game!
[laughs]
I stopped it. I'm going to get my autograph!
Why don't you just rip your clothes off, you hotdog.
Atta way, cat! Let's go home now.
[Bad Bird] No!
Hey, that bird looks caught.
-My new leading man. -What?
This game has been sponsored by the kindness committee
of Big Cheese.
Now she chooses Bad Bird?
I'm going to bounce that Springy to oblivion!
Huh? Did the game start?
[all] Huh?
Okay, this is the part of the show where I get to show off
my turning the bad guys into knot work.
Watch as I spring into action!
[yells] [explosion]
Springy's in the air.
-Your lip's caught! -I hate to lose!
[explosion]
From me and Burnt Cheeseburger, goodnight.
[narrator] And good night from the heroes of our story,
who are also the stars of our series.
Oh, and speaking of stars,
Let me go. Let go!
What will these Pizza Cats think of next?
[Violet] We can be like Maddie and David,
Cheech and Chong, Ben and Biegler.
-Hey, mama! -Huh?
It's dark!
[narrator] Very observant, junior.
And dark means night. Goodnight!
On the next
Pizza Cats.
[narrator] Speedy is all a twitter as he prepares
to meet the lovely Lucille.
He plans to win her over by impressing her
with his alleged knack for poetry.
I'm a poet and Lucille's going to know it.
[narrator] Unimpressed with Speedy's verbal dexterity,
but feeling pity for him,
Lucille asks him to go with her on a shopping trip.
Speedy accepts in his usual calm manner.
But Speedy fails to remember
as that he already has a commitment to transport
some sensitive documents with Polly.
Of course, Polly is as understanding as always.
Speedy decides that the only course of action
is to try to be at both places at once.
But then he stumbles across a secret tunnel,
which leads him to the heart of Big Cheese's operation
designed to terrorize the citizens of Little Tokyo
with a giant hot top robot.
Will the Pizza Cats be able to stop Big Cheese?
Will Speedy win Lucille's heart?
Will the Cubs ever when a world series?
Find out next time in Speedy's double dime trick
on the next Samurai Pizza Cats.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Samurai Pizza Cat fan club oath.
The Pizza Cats are samurai,
and I'd like to note:
their antics take your breath away
like fur balls in your throat.
We kittens are a special breed.
We never call a retreat.
Whenever Big Cheese knocks us down,
we land upon our feet.
[narrator] So hail to thee, oh, Pizza Cat.
Please ring your little bell.
Although you may be pen and ink,
-we know you'll fight like-- -Pizza Cats!
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ We hope you liked the show,♪
♪ it's the best That we could do♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ If you could do better, Then we'd leave it up to you♪
♪ Just a reminder, You might like to know♪
♪ The cats will be back For another big show♪
Oh, gosh.
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime Oh, yes♪
♪ All over town♪
♪ Two, four, six, eight♪
♪ Why do we expectorate?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
Read all the credits so you'll know who did the work.
♪ Samurai Pizza cats♪